


You're my muse (and I'm the dreamy musician)

by kya0810



Series: Looking at you, falling at you. [1]
Category: SixTONES (Band)
Genre: Fluff, High School, M/M, Secret Crush, Very Secret Diary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:54:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29509299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kya0810/pseuds/kya0810
Summary: Taiga glanced at Hokuto once, twice, and it's addictive.
Relationships: Kyomoto Taiga/Matsumura Hokuto
Series: Looking at you, falling at you. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2167743
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

-Nov 1st, 2012-  
 _Seems like it wanted to snow, but turns out it didn’t. There was a light rain mixed with flakes._  
 _I wonder why the boys in my class could always be so so noisy. And dirty somehow. Most of them are in the football team, so after practice they just stormed their way to class without a proper shower. That grossed me out._  
 _But as normal, Hokuto wasn’t like any of them. He always smells good. It wasn’t really from the deodorant, it was more like his natural scent. I can smell summer leaves, with a bit of the oceanic wind combing on his hair. And I noticed his fabric softener also. Today was lavender. Yesterday was kinda rosy._  
 _I turned back to sneak at him a few times in class. Hope Juri didn’t see it._  
 _Hokuto was ethereal. The way winter sunlight kissed every angle of his face like caressing on a Greek statue. His eyes were sharp, but like glossy blackhole, no, like the sparkling universe, sucked my soul out of my body, gravitated me closer to him, until all I know was to orbiting him like an anonymous shadow._  
 _I wonder if Hokuto ever looked this way. Look at me. He’s one of the best student, standing his place at the school’s top ten, popular, shining bright like a northern star._  
 _I think I should stop glancing at him, at least for today._  
 _I really hope Juri didn’t see it._

_Dreamy musician, KT._

-Nov 8th , 2012-  
 _I hope it would snow, but again, turns out it didn’t. No rain, but not any sunshine either. Cloudy._  
 _Hokuto’s soccer team had finished their practice today already, but they were a bit late, they should have arrived at the class by now. What took them so long?_  
 _Anyway, lately Juri has been suspecting me for writing so much in class. He asked me what I was doing and I just avoided the question by inviting him out for gaming. I didn’t even like the game though, but since Juri seemed to enjoy it so much, I gotta play along. Kinda feel sorry for leaving him alone for the past weeks. I just…I had a lot on my mind at the moment. Mostly about Matsumura Hokuto. Since when I didn’t even know._  
 _We talked about dying our hair. Juri was aiming for a pinkish color. If that went well, I think I’ll go blonde. But that had to wait, our high school doesn’t allow having a “polished” look because it’s against the school’s educational purpose._  
 _They should have punished Matsumura too, that guy is just way too against the educational purpose._  
 _Or it’s only me. I do pay a lot of attention to Matsumura though. But that can’t be helped._

_Dreamy musician, KT._

-Nov 9th, 2012-  
I _should stop waiting for a snow. Apparently there will be no snowing ‘til December. Sunny._  
 _Hokuto called off from class for having an injury on his left foot. He sprained his ankle while trying to score on a practice game._  
 _I wonder how he’s doing. More than wondering, I’m kinda worried. If he couldn’t go to class with a sprained ankle, that means he hurt himself quite badly._  
 _Should I go and see him? Well, we barely even talk. But I can go as a classmate right? I can hand him my notebooks. Hmm…_  
 _But to think of it, that sounds quite-_  
 _…_  
 _Okay I’m back. Mr. Nakajima just called me out and asked if I could represent the class and pay Hokuto a visit. God for the first time things went the way I expected them to do. I was so glad I said yes without thinking further. He said I was a good kid._  
 _No sir, I’m sorry to say this but I am no good kid._  
 _I just have a crush on that clumsy bastard._

_Dreamy musician, KT._

.  
So there was Taiga. Heart nervously beating, hands unsettling, spine quivering. A breezy wind of winter ran through his cheeks, but it wasn’t the reason why his whole body was shaking. He was standing in front of the house labeled “Matsumura”.

Taking a deep breath, Taiga slowly levitated his bickering hand, firmly pushed the bell. He quickly combed through his hair, straightening his uniform tie, and tried to stand with this head up, gathering some confidence to himself.

A smartly-dressed woman came by the door, greeting Taiga with a surprising but smiley face. She looked so elegant with hazelnut shiny eyes that reminded Taiga of someone, almost immediately.

“H-hi! Sorry to interupt, I’m Kyomoto Taiga, Matsumura-kun’s classmate. I’m here to hand him the notes he’s been missing the past 2 days.”

It’s so cold outside that Taiga breathed fog, he lowered his head to hide his mouth from the chill.

“Thank you so much for coming, Taiga-kun” the sweet lady guided him into the house, “Hokuto is upstairs, come on in, let’s have a drink, it must be cold outside.”

He didn’t plan to come inside the house, but he couldn’t say no to the bright smile from Hokuto’s mom. He tried to act as well-mannered as possible, from putting his shoes on the rack, to taking light step while murmuring a small greeting to the family. Taiga was told to head upstairs first and she would bring them hot tea later.

Okay, upstairs it was.

Taiga walked up with hesitation in every step. God, what will his room look like? Smell like? Is it full of sunshine, like the daily scenery that I see in class? Or will it be as dim as a winter night, with Hokuto sitting on his bed like the only star in the sky…

Without realizing, Taiga had reached the door that he was never ready to open. Even from outside, he could smell a sweet scent, like chocolate and marshmallows, as if behind that shut door was the candyland that he could sacrifice dying in such syrupy enticement.

But then he knocked. Once. Twice. He closed his eyes, fearing anything to appear. And when he let the light reach him again, in front of him was Hokuto, hair unruly and sleepy hazelnut sparkling eyes, scratching his head.  
“Your mom let me in, so…I’m here for the notes…” Taiga quickly put down his backpack, took the notes out as fast as he could, fearing he would take so much of Hokuto time and be an annoying intruder that ruined Hokuto’s day off. Suddenly Hokuto grabbed his one hand, forced him to look up,

“There’s nothing to rush, Kyomoto-kun. Wanna come in for a talk?”

Hold on, this was too much. If Taiga kept looking into Hokuto’s goddamn beautiful eyes like that for a few more seconds his heart would burst and drag him to the floor. So he broke the mutual awkward stare and gathered his thing, tried to keep his legs function normally as he walked into the room.

So it really was like a dim winter. Hokuto only opened half of his windows, so there wasn’t much lighting in the room. Taiga found himself a decent place to sit on the floor, close to Hokuto’s bed. Even the bed smelled like Hokuto. A little lavender. With a drop of candy-coated vanilla.

“So, how was school?”

Hokuto sat down beside Taiga, from here Taiga could see the bandages around Hokuto’s ankle clearly, the poor boy must have hurt himself pretty bad that it itched Taiga’s heart a little. It was weird for him to imagine touching Hokuto’s wound, just to check it out. But touching Hokuto was another milestone. Talking to Hokuto now was the baby step.  
“T’was fine”, _not really_ , ”it’s almost the end of the semester so we’ve been focusing on mock test”, _I can’t focus_ , “people keep asking about you”, _it’s just me to be always wondering about you._

“Guess so”, Hokuto smirked, looking down, “I actually enjoyed my two days at home a lot, since it’s quiet here, warm and peaceful, I like it. I don’t really like being surrounded by people. I think Kyomoto-kun is also like me, right?”

“Why do you think so?”

“You keep stealing glances at me in class, so I decided to do the same.” Taiga’s eyes widened, lips parting for an excuse, unfortunately too late, “seems like you don’t hang out much with anyone, except for Tanaka. He’s nice.”

Taiga could feel blood rushed up his face, he swallowed an imaginary pressure down the throat, words congesting and hanging on the tip of his tongue, but nothing was being said. So Hokuto might know, all this time, his secret habit, his unrightful feeling. One deep breath after another, Taiga put himself together and relocated his look straight upto Hokuto’s eyes.  
“So you don’t feel…weird…when someone staring at you constantly like I do?”,

With hesitation, Taiga slowly asked. He didn’t dare to blink so abruptly, so as not to uncontrollably pour down his affection towards Hokuto, and it was so hard, like even a choke could expose him right away, like swimming against the current, like him being on the wrong side of the lane and there’s no turning back.

“I did.” Hokuto chinned on his hand, eyes never left Taiga’s. The older then naturally backed up and cut the mutual connection, he gazed down his two arms, fisting together from when only God knows,

“But it wasn’t any negative feeling. Actually I found it…engaging. You know, I can now detect when to look away. If it’s your turn to look at me, I’ll pretend I’m looking outside the windows. When you’re back to your notes, I start looking at you. It’s something to have fun in that boring classroom.”

Taiga tried to hide his smile. But only him that didn’t know there was no use doing so. Hokuto, of course, observed it all, how Taiga shifted closer with flushed cheeks, fists loosened, eyelashes shuddering, like pine leaves touching snow.  
“You look red. Are you having a fever?”

Hokuto reached out and touched Taiga by the cheeks, forcing the older to lift his eyes up again. With quick breaths they came closer to each other, Taiga’s heart started to beat out of pattern, like drumming, rocking, concerting its long-hidden melody inside out, too fast, too loud, conveying the attachment he’d always wanted.

Someone knocked on the door. It was Mrs. Matsumura, she came up with the tea. Taiga felt like being caught red-handed for about three seconds, but she just politely came in, put down the hot tea tray near the door, and quickly closed the door with a sneaky smile on her face.

Hokuto’s hand was still here. Veiny, slender, elegant, warm, caring hand, caressing his flustered face like treasuring a fragile gemstone.

“I’m fine!” But reality hit Taiga like hard concrete, he swayed Hokuto’s hand away and sketched an awkward smile. “Maybe it’s just too cold outside and now that my body temperature is back to normal, my face is kinda heated up. No worries!”

 _Even a kid can make a better excuse than I do._ Hokuto settled himself apart from him, a glimpse of disappointment so obvious that Taiga could see, but to him, high percentages that it was only his imagination.

A moment of silence that lasted like a lifetime. Hokuto then peered into Taiga’s open backpack, he discovered a pack of high-quality empty paper canvas.

“You can draw?” The younger simply asked. Taiga shared the same eye direction, he took the canvas out with a pencil.

“I love quick sketching. It helps me focus on how things are set beside each other and create meaningful objects, in just one frame.” he freedrawing some random lines on the white canvas, “it set me free to depict my own world. Just my own.”

“Draw me.” Hokuto spurted out without thinking, “I can be your living model. Have you tried drawing a person?”

“No…not until now.”

“It’s a deal then” Hokuto genuinely smiled at Taiga, “I’ll be at school tomorrow. How about seeing each other at lunch break?”

“The rooftop?”

“With your favourite tomato pasta, too.”

“You know?” Taiga chuckled. A wind playfully unveiled the windows curtains, the afternoon sunlight flooded in, warm as oil, sweet as childhood, landed its flow onto Taiga’s rosy cheeks.

“Strangely, I do…” Hokuto could feel the time pausing. He was jinxed. Hit by a bus. Drown by a wave. Struck with a feeling so vague to name, yet so strong to handle by himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hokuto was just playing the game. Or so he thought.

-Nov 1st , 2012-

_Kyomoto glanced at me today, twice._

_He brought that diary with him all the time. Is he drawing me? Noting things about me? Wait, is it really about me then? Or it is the scene outside. It must be the scene. But I hope there’s also me, too._

_Tanaka does talk a lot, huh. Both of them love having lunch in class while discussing games. Kyomoto’s today bento is something with raw tomatoes, it’s too far away I can barely see it. Something like noodle thingy and some sauce. Must be the pasta then. Looks homemade._

_God, does this boy come from a royal family or something, he clearly can’t take care of himself! Kyomoto, for god sake, is there any day that you don’t have food on your face after you eat literally everything saucy?_

_If Tanaka didn’t wipe it off for you everytime you got sauce on the corner of your mouth, I’ll approach you and do it myself!_

_Yeah. Yeah I will. I think. At least I do._

_MH._

-Nov 8th, 2012-

_Apparently you can still slip and fall on hard ground without having it rain. Like, seriously, who the hell would splash cleaning water on the practice football court???_

_It hurt like having my bones broken. The boys took me to the medical room and the doctor said something about me having at least two days break from school._

_It sounds fun until…If I’m not there, then…_

_Would there be anyone to notice that I’m gone?_

_MH._

_-Nov 9 th, 2012-_

_To sum today up, I would say that there’s definitely a blessing in disguise._

_I told Mr. Nakajima that I still need to study on my break, so I suggest him to ask Kyomoto to bring the notes to me. To be honest I don’t know why I did this in the first place. It’s just, I kinda miss him._

_Wait, no, not like I miss seeing him or something. Not like I like him or something. Or anything. We don’t even talk!_

_But since we’ve been playing “the staring contest” for a while now (and the fact that he thought he was still the lone player is so funny), I think he must be missing me too._

_Like a friend to a friend._

_I hope it won’t snow the day he comes to my house. He has a nice voice, I don’t want it to be damaged._

_But yeah not like I’m fond of his voice, it’s just…_

_…_

_Screw it I do like his voice._

_MH._

-Nov 9th, 2012-

_Imma have my room locked next time. If there be one next time._

_Why did I touch him that way? Why did he flush? Why were we leaning closer and closer to each other? Why did mom have to bring the tea I don’t even drink tea!!!_

_Okay. My dear iphone notes. I will have to bookmark today’s note for science, since I’m kinda sure of one thing now, that I’m not straight, at all. There gone my time of self-claimed heterosexuality._

_There’s no way a straight boy can feel his heart racing like F1 when he’s with another boy. Beautiful boy, I must say._

_Eyelash flickering like snowflakes, pinkish cheeks like blooming flowers in springtime, and his smile, that perfect curvy line like the crescent moon…_

_Is it me or my air conditioner is broken???_

_MH._

_._

So there was Hokuto. Rooftop at noon, legs wandering, hands in side pockets, mind up the clouds. And Taiga was just a shut door away.

But he didn’t have time to put himself together with that short wait, Taiga came right after. The older brought with him nothing but a sketch pad and a pencil. Even under the gloomy sky, Hokuto could still see the roseate cheeks on pale skin, like blood on snow, and those slender artistic fingers, softly flattening out the canvas, left Hokuto nothing but to wonder what would they feel like, brushing through his curvy hair.

Taiga told Hokuto to sit by the balcony. The younger obediently followed Taiga’s instruction for posing.

Taiga flicked his very first strokes on the paper. The invisible line where Hokuto blackhole-like eyes were, then another one, a curvy long one, to represent his nose and parting lips.

Taiga observed Hokuto, immensely, precisely, studying every smallest details, from the mole on his lips, to the asymmetry of his piercing eyes. And Hokuto’s fluffy hair ran straight into the drawing like burnt warm coal of a fireplace, hanging magnificently above his wide manly forehead. And all of Hokuto made Taiga felt like his staring habit was worth-while. The man in front of him was like an incomplete song that mother nature has been composing for eighteen years. And she handed him the right to continue with it. Hokuto is the muse. Hokuto is _his_ muse.

Hokuto couldn’t sit still either. He knew Taiga was keeping his eyes on him, so he restrained moving at his best. But Hokuto himself also knew that he couldn’t keep it for any longer. The way Taiga was browsing through his face features sent blood up his brain and woke up billions of neurons at once, pulsating his asynchronous heartbeat and non-pattern breath, once, twice, and he was drowned. Drowned deep down those ocean eyes.

“Let’s take a break” Taiga suddenly stood up. Hokuto was so ready to get himself up also, until Taiga realized his feet were all numb because of the coldness, he tried so hard balancing himself, and with one first step, he fell.

Hokuto caught him right before he hit the ground. His whole body on Hokuto, both hands levering the torso on Hokuto’s wide shoulders, legs tangling with Hokuto’s.

“You okay?”

Hokuto’s whisper sounded exactly like Taiga’s wildest dream. Husky, dreamy, feral like a growl, soft like a butter cookie. Taiga looked up and soon he was descended into the Milky Way inside those obsidian pupils, they were so close that their breaths mixed and swirled around together, becoming a roll of steam and evaporating away.

Hokuto’s hands wrapping Taiga’s waist were gripping tighter, pulling closer, until there was hardly any space between their chest.

 _Hope he doesn’t feel my heart drumming._ Taiga innocently prayed.

 _If something echoes out from my chest I’ll dig myself a hole right away._ Hokuto’s last consciousness murmured to himself.

“I’m good, yeah. You?”

“Not really” Hokuto gulped, he bit his bottom lips while staring at Taiga’s parting ones, “you fell on me, it’s heavy you know.”

“I’m so sorry”, Taiga pushed against Hokuto’s shoulder to back off, but it was no use. Hokuto locked him in his embrace so tight he could barely move, “I shouldn’t have fall-“

Hokuto gave him a peck. One small peck, but not at the right target. A little bit to the right, a little bit up the nose.

While Taiga was still in a daze with his eyes stupidly wide open, Hokuto gave in to himself, and attacked Taiga with all his might. He moved his hand up Taiga’s head and thrusting his fingers through the locks, hauling Taiga closer, closer, until their foreheads collide and their lips met in the middle, soft, cold, and delicate, like butterfly wings in the Amazonian jungle that subsequently caused a storm ravages half of Europe.

Hokuto leaned in, pressing his lips harder, sucking Taiga here and there, caressing the noses, making Taiga furrowing his eyebrows because of the intensity this gave off, eyes uncontrollably closed. Taiga then grabbed Hokuto’s by the jaw and held on him, pulling in, fired their bottled emotions, fueled the kiss longer. They parted for a mere moment, but only when Taiga hissed his wish into Hokuto’s ears, “ _more”,_ both of their sanity collapsed, they began to devour each other with blunt nails digging onto the uniforms, a pull in the hair, some scratches on the jaw.

Breaths shattering, like how Taiga’s nearly swollen red lips trembled when their mouths detached from one another. Unable to open their eyes for a few moments afterwards, all the boys felt was their shaky hands holding onto themselves, foreheads still affectionately cuddled.

Hokuto forced his eyes open, and Taiga did, too. They felt something sparkled, like the starting point of the universe. Hokuto smelled like lavender. And Taiga had the first snowflake of winter at the corner of his mouth.

“Guess Tanaka wouldn’t be available to pick things off your beautiful face.”

“Would you mind? My hands are in love with your cut-sharp jaw.”

Hokuto thumbed the snowflake away, without forgetting to leave a small kiss there, making both of them heartily giggled,

“And how about you? Who are you in love with?”

“I don’t know. Some pretty bastard in my painting.”

Taiga smirked, and looked away, but not for long ‘til Hokuto’s lips finding ways to get together again, mumbled desperately,

“I wonder who he is. Hope he’s ready for a fight.”

**Author's Note:**

> Long time no fluff. Thoughts?


End file.
